When you hear unexpected or serious news from your doctor, it can feel like the ground has dropped out from under you. Whether it's a diagnosis like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, dementia, an autoimmune condition or another long-term illness, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed or scared. You may not know what to do next.
“A serious medical or mental health diagnosis can be life-altering. You can feel a sense of loss, overwhelming anxiety, guilt, helplessness or hopelessness. You may feel depressed and even have suicidal thoughts, in extreme cases,” said Divya Jot Singh, MD, a psychiatrist with Banner Health.
You’re not alone. Many people have had to deal with tough health news, and there are steps you can take to cope, find support and begin moving forward. Here are some to try.
1. Give yourself space to feel your emotions
Everyone reacts differently. It’s okay to feel upset, numb, angry or in denial. You don’t have to “stay strong” or have it all figured out right away.
Let yourself take a breath. Cry if you need to. Talk to someone you trust — or take time alone. Processing your emotions is part of healing.
2. Ask questions and write things down
It can be hard to focus when you hear big news. Don’t worry if you didn’t take it all in during your appointment.
“You might feel overwhelmed, angry or numb when you learn about your medical condition, and you might not be able to fully grasp the nature of your illness,” Dr. Singh said. “Talking to your provider and understanding the symptoms, treatment and prognosis can help reduce your anxiety.”
Here are a few tips that can help you get the information you need:
- Bring a friend or family member to appointments
- Take notes or ask to record your provider’s explanation
- Ask your provider to give you written information about your health condition
- Write down your questions as they come up
- Ask your provider to go over information again at future appointments, even if you’ve already discussed it
3. Don’t rush any big decisions
You may feel pressure to act fast but, in most cases, you can take time to think through your options. Ask your provider which steps are most important right now and which ones can wait.
It’s okay to get a second opinion or ask for extra support before making long-term choices.
4. Decide who to tell and when
You don’t have to share everything right away. It’s up to you when, how and with whom you share your diagnosis.
Some people feel comforted by talking openly. Others prefer to wait until they feel more prepared. Both are okay. “You can decide who is privy to your medical information,” Dr. Singh said.
Keep in mind that your loved ones can be there to help you if they know what’s going on. “Support from family and friends is one of the pillars of treatment and recovery,” Dr. Singh said.
If you don’t know how to begin, a simple statement like “I’m still processing this, but I wanted you to know…” can help start the conversation.
5. Reach out for support
Talking with someone you trust, like a friend, family member, spiritual advisor or therapist, can help you cope with the weight of what you’re carrying.
You may benefit from:
- Joining in-person or online support groups where you can connect with other people who are dealing with the same health condition
- Connecting with behavioral health professionals who can help you learn coping strategies
- Reviewing resources tailored to your condition, like websites for organizations focused on your medical condition
6. Focus on what you can control
When everything feels different and uncertain, small steps can help you feel more grounded.
It might help to try:
- Keeping to a daily routine
- Making a healthy meal or going for a short walk
- Tracking your symptoms or medications
- Giving yourself a chance to rest
- Setting one small, achievable goal each day
7. Take care of your mental health
Stress, sadness and worry are common. But managing your mental health is just as important as treating your physical condition. Good mental health can support your overall health.
To cope, you can try:
- Deep breathing or meditation
- Writing in a journal
- Spending time in nature or with pets
If your feelings are affecting your sleep, appetite or the way you function, it’s time to talk to a mental health professional. Reach out to your care team if you don’t know where to start.
8. Adjusting to a new normal
It may take time to accept your diagnosis and learn to live with it. Some days will feel harder than others.
“Being diagnosed with a life-altering illness can be traumatic. People can respond to the diagnosis in different ways. It can be like a grieving process,” Dr. Singh said. “Your ability to adjust to the new normal depends on how severe your illness is, your physical and mental health, your support system, your financial situation and your ability to get adequate treatment.”
Many people find new strength, support and purpose as they move forward. With the right care, routines and people around you, your life can continue to be meaningful and fulfilling.
Need help coping with a difficult diagnosis?
When you’re facing a challenging health condition, you don’t have to go through it alone. Banner Health’s behavioral health team is here to support you emotionally as you adjust to a new diagnosis and the changes that come with it. Our caring, experienced professionals help people cope with these changes.
Schedule an appointment with a Banner health care provider or call Banner Behavioral Health for more information and resources at (602) 254-4357.
